Muni Stories
If you’ve ever been in San Francisco and have had the pleasure of riding public transportation, then you probably have muni stories too. I’m going to start keeping track of these little jems, beginning with last night’s muni ride.
Brie and I were having a pretty typical ride to SOMA until this woman, who clearly had never heard of ‘inside voices’, joined us in the back of the bus. She was on her cell phone to who hopefully was a close friend/relative, because she relentlessly kept telling them, “Haaay! Go down to the hospital and bring mami some taaampons! Yea, taaampons!” Call it intuition, but I knew this ride was only going to get better. A lot of people laugh when the word tampon is heard at that decibel (it’s hard not too) to which she responded, “You gotta problem with my femin-in-inmty? I got femini-in-ne issue, okay? So f******k you!”.
She sat next to me and greeted everyone around her as if she knew them…even got one man to pour some of his “hooch” into her eco-friendly water bottle. After shamelessly hitting on a few gentlemen, she would yell her catchphrase, “Deuces!”, a line that I am now stealing and using as much as possible.
Right before we were getting off the bus, she looked over at me and told I had an ‘exquisite’ purse and that she liked it a lot. (How nice to her to say, I thought), “Good thing I don’t snatch purses anymore, cause that thing would be mine!”….aaand the sentiment was gone.
The best part of our encounter was when she said that I should be a model (again, I thought what a sweet thing to say). I told her thanks and to have a great night, and as Brie and I stood up to get off at our stop she yelled out “Haaay! Move! Let these hookers off the bus! Move for the hookers!”
Yep, I was called a model and a hooker in the same minute.
Deuces!!!
